The Be S.A.V.V.Y Method
As a modern Indian woman, you deserve to enjoy the life you crave without upsetting your family or sacrificing your identity.
As 1st and 2nd gen immigrants, our families demanded constant performance and hustle. They were always working, saving, or doing. There was rarely time to rest or celebrate. This hustle was born out of survival. Then, it became a point of pride. “Self-made” was part of the cultural swagger.
Your family taught you that your career and your life plan should follow the tried-and-true, predictable, safe path. That might have worked for your parents but it’s not enough for you. You want the freedom to make your own career choices, relationship decisions and your own mistakes instead of playing small and staying quiet. But, at the same time, the thought of not having a roadmap makes you panic and so you continue with the same old same old, even though you know you’re ready for a change.
S.
Self-assured
A.
Authentic
V.
Values-Aligned
V.
Vibrant
Y.
Yourself
I know you’ll know exactly what I’m saying when I tell you that…
1st Gen Immigrants carry a guilt that is like survivors’ guilt. The conflict you feel comes from growing up with fewer resources. At the same time, you feel guilty for having more opportunities and experiences than the rest of your family, especially the ones who didn’t immigrate. You know that they never got the chance to live on their own for college, to work, or travel. As privileged as it sounds, it can be very stressful to earn more money than your parents or siblings and be able to purchase things that you want, rather than only what you need. Simple things like going to the grocery store or opening up your Amazon app can cause that guilt to spike suddenly, and without warning.
2nd Gen Immigrants have fears of their own… Not meeting your family’s high expectations and succeeding for all of them, and losing touch with your cultural roots if you “adjust” too much. There’s a fear that you’ll feel different and or not fit into any group because in some groups you are too Indian and in some you’re too American.
It’s not easy to be us.
In fact, it can be scary, messy and confusing. Growing up as an immigrant or immigrant descendant shapes us in small and big ways. We have navigated at least 2 sets of cultures, languages, value systems, and expectations. We’ve seen firsthand what it takes to survive. Now, we struggle to know what moving beyond survival could look like for our generation.
Did you know that depression has been named a major public health issue specifically among Asian Indian immigrant women in the United States?*
Hi, I’m
Dr. Vinita Menon
I’m a clinical psychologist and women’s empowerment coach.
I created the “Be SAVVY” Signature Coaching Program to help the modern Indian woman master the difference between confrontations and conversations and ask for what they need.
You can make your own choices and live an independent life.
Or you could decide to keep going along with what your family wants & die a little bit every day in the process of being ‘the good girl”.
That wouldn’t be so bad, right? Nope! I didn’t think so.
It’s time for a plot twist.
